In Edinburgh, Scotland

I've been in Edinburgh, Scotland for a few days now. I don't usually get jet lag, but this time I have and for the first few days I just slept a lot, had a really hard time getting out of bed, even though I'm in a new country!

When I left the northwest of the USA, we had been having beautiful, sunny warm weather. I knew Scotland was going to be colder and rainy, so I cleaned and waterproofed my winter and rainwear. Burr, have I needed it! It hasn't rained while I've been out and about, but it sure has gotten very chilly.

I've been so amazed at how old building and streets are here. Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, there weren't very many older buildings, and since most of the buildings are made of wood, old ones have burned down or rotted over the years. Here, old buildings were made out of solid rock, often over a foot thick, and so there are a lot of really really old buildings here. Many from the 1800s (these are newer), and a few churches from the 1600s and even a few buildings that are even older. Its so amazing to walk along the streets and imagine how people have been walking the same way, going about their life in the exact same spot for centuries!

There is so much to see here, but so far some of my favorite places have been the old cemeteries, because they have trees! Another great place in Princes Street Garden, which also has trees. I haven't made it over to the Botanical Garden yet, which will have more trees too. Planting trees along buildings and roads was something that didn't happen in medieval Edinburgh, it doesn't happen now, at least not in the city center.

We were in an old hall today for a fair and afterwards, I was looking at a ballroom in the building that had these amazing chandeliers. A workman came in and I asked him when the building was build, 1887 he said, and the decorations along the trim and the chandeliers were all original, made from crystal. So amazing. He turned them on for us and pointed to a smaller one in the window that reflected colors, saying it was from a different kind of crystal.

Edinburgh is a very easy city to be in, the city center is compact, great for walking around, the bus system is great, and it's pretty safe. The people are pretty friendly, although some of my smiles are met with blank looks. Jared, who is Scottish tells me if I smile AND say hi, people will then smile back.

This is my first time to the UK or Europe and its very interesting all the similarities to South Africa (former British colony). The supermarkets are set up similar and the road signs are very similar. Kind of weird.

I'm working on my Scottish accent, there are many different kinds, perhaps by the time I get back to the States, I'll sound Scottish!

Train ride from Cape Town to Johannesburg

Our flight back to the United States was out of Johannesburg. We had several options to get to Joburg. The bus: 18 hours of sitting and very little sleep, flying: expensive and we had too much luggage, renting a car: too expensive, or the train: 26 hours with little beds. So we took the train.

There are three options of taking the train. The uber luxurious Blue Train or Rovos Rail, the Premier Classe train that is luxurious but not uber luxurious, or the Shosholoza meyl. The standard train. We took the standard train. In this train there are compartments for either 4 people, or 2 people which they call a coupe. I looked up what coupe meant, and it means something like half. Which is what these tiny boxes are. They would be quite spacious if on had no luggage. But considering Jared and I had so much luggage we couldn't carry it all ourselves, it was a bit cramped.

It was somewhat dramatic getting all situated on the train. Our last morning in CT before the train at 12:30 we had two clients come over, one who wanted to have coffee with us, and another for a last crash session before we left the country. Fortunately we had all our stuff packed, which was the result of days, and I mean days, of sorting, mailing stuff to the states and weighing our bags (the airlines are VERY strict about the weight of luggage).

The taxi was 30 minutes late, the driver wouldn't help us load the luggage into the taxi, when we got to the station, we couldn't find a cart to put our luggage on to take to the train...after waiting and panicking we finally got one. We got to the train, found our coupe, and it was all wet inside! Cape Town's weather was giving us a rainy farewell which dripped and seeped into the coupe. So we got another one.

We were so relieved when everything was put away and the train was leaving CT, that we celebrated by drinking cider.

Come night time, an attendant came with bedding and asked which end I wanted my head at. He recommended towards the middle of the train, because of the train tipped to the other side I'd fall on my head. If the train tipped to the other side, he said the passageway on the other side of the coupe would help my head from being crushed. The bedding was a nice mix of blankets, pillows and sheets. I slept well though Jared was cold.

It was a pleasant ride, we slept, read, and ate. It was so nice to be able to walk around the train and stretch my legs which I couldn't have done on the bus.

The second day I was wondering how long I could enjoy the ride before I started feeling cramped. Soon after that I started feeling cramped. I think the tower of luggage in front of me had something to do with that.

We got to Jozi only 40 minutes late which apparently is a record as we heard the train is often hours late. Humm... sounds like Amtrak on the states.

I would definitely take the train again, and do so with less luggage. Maybe next time we'll have enough money for some luxury.

Less than two Weeks Left....

Less than two weeks from now I'll be in a plane somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean headed back to the States. My year in South Africa has nearly come to a close. It has both gone fast, and yet arriving in Johannesburg, South Africa a year ago seems like another lifetime.

I feel mixed about leaving. I like it here a lot and I will miss it. Just in the last few months has it felt that I really live here. I love being near the ocean, seeing it from my window, I love being so close to a gorgeous mountain like Table Mountain. I love that its nearly summer now and its warm, the sun is shining, the flowers are in bloom, and birds are singing at 5am. I love the people we have met.

This year has been a lot of learning for both Jared and I. We have learned a lot about ourselves, each other and about how people work. I have learned that sometimes its best to just leave a bad situation (like the one we arrived into here) and other times to just accept, stay grounded in myself and have my own boundaries. To let people do what they do even if I don't think its useful or even if its self-destructive. They have their own path and they have to decide for themselves. I have learned to be as unattached as I can from wanting a certain outcome. To love people, provide what help and support I can, to not blame myself when they still do the same self-destructive patterns, and to be there for them when they come back.

This has been one of the biggest lessons and challenges of working with street youth and former street youth. I can't save them. I knew I couldn't. But I think part of me tried and still keeps trying. They are beautiful people with incredible talent, some with great passion but they still have to choose for themselves to make a different life. I can't make that choice for them.

There was one youth in particular I feel sad about. Perhaps its because he is the same age as me, and also that he suffers from depression, something I had for many many years. He is an amazing artist, such beautiful talent. He grew up on the streets, his mom lived on the streets. He's been in and out of prison, once for murder. He has gang tattoos on his body and has trouble sleeping at night because of what he experienced in prison. Lately he has been tormented by so many of his friends and family (including his mom) that still sleep on the streets. He had a temporary job lined up for him, someone willing to give him a second chance after he screwed up last time. A job that may have been a foot into something longer term. But he didn't bother showing up for it. Then he started sleeping on the streets again as some kind of test for himself. Then he stole from the project...

He has so much potential, but he has to make the choice. He has to make the choice over and over again. He has to make the choice to stay focused on what he wants in his life. To choose to get the support he needs, to surround himself with people who care and who will guide him. But he isn't making that choice at the moment, instead his is choosing to fall back on old behaviors and patterns. At any time though he can make a different choice and have a different life. But I recently heard that he has told everyone to fuck off that he wants to die on the streets....


It's taken Jared and I awhile to get ourselves established here, to feel like we really live here with friends. Now that we have that, its hard to leave it. Our plan is to apply for funding to come back next year and continue our work with street youth. To also work with other organizations and other at-risk youth, and to try working with younger kids before they make those critical decisions to use drugs, commit crime.

I've been trying to focus on the positive things about going back to Oregon since that is where I am headed. Of course seeing my family and friends and our spiritual teacher. Also food related stuff: soy lattes, gluten free flours and baked goods, kombucha, tempeh...And the forest...

I am going to miss South Africa and Cape Town a lot, and I hope to be coming back soon.

Picky Landlords

The landlords Jared and I had in Portland, Oregon screwed us out of most of our deposit after we left last year. We spend HOURS cleaning that bloody flat, and it was really clean, but the greedy landlords came up with all sorts of stuff to charge us for so that we got back some measly $20 or so. Sounds like my grandma's husband who told me when he rented places he would never give back the deposits, just come up with stuff to charge his tenets for so he could keep the money.

Here in Cape Town we were renting from a German couple who hired a guy to take care of their flat when they aren't here. So he did the choosing of who to rent it out to and was the go-to guy. We have been really pleased with him as the psuedo landlord.

The German couple came back a month ago so Jared and I moved to another flat for our last 6 weeks just up the road. We in fact look out at our old front door from our current window.

The Germans were quite friendly when they came back and we gave them their keys etc. They even waved the next day when they were leaving their place. But then the waving stopped and I figured something was wrong but wasn't sure what it was.

We got a call from the go-to guy and he came over yesterday. Turns out the Germans are upset about a few things in their flat. The blanket on the sofa was ruined they said, a drawer was missing a handle, there was some burn marks on the floor, a piece of the coffee table veneer was chipped off, the awning was damaged, and here is my favorite: the cushions on the sofa were flat. She asked him what we did with the stuffing. I was tempted to tell him that we sold it since we had heard there was a good black market for cushion stuffing. He agreed that they were being really picky and said it was because they are German (he used to live there).

I agree the blanket was pretty tattered as it was poorly made, and we'd be happy to pay for a new one. All the drawer handles were present and accounted for when we left, never used the awnings but the sun is pretty intense here and damages things quickly that then get blown to bits in the extremely strong winds that blow most the summer. The cushions, well, guess we sat on our assess too much on the couch.

I don't think they have rented their place out long-term before as all this stuff is normal wear and tear. Maybe they won't again! They spend 3 months a year in South Africa and I don't think they need the money from the rental, so they should just leave it sit if they are going to be so picky.

Goodness, I hope our next landlords are better! Need to own those picky places in myself now...

Car Accident

Coming home from a weekend away this Monday we were in a car accident. We were 5 minutes from our apartment when our friend's car was rear-ended by a pick-up at a backed up traffic light. As we approached the light, she had to slam the brakes to not hit the car in front of us. As we sat there at the light, there was the crunching sound of sheet metal and plastic and a strong jolt and my head slammed back into the headrest. I sat there for a few moments wondering what had happened because I knew we had stopped before hitting the car in front of us.

Fortunately the traffic had started moving at the same time he hit us so that we were not pushed into the car in front of us. No one was seriously injured, there was no blood. I was so shocked I don't know if I would have been able to use my first aid training. I remained quite shaken up for the next few hours as we waited for everything to be sorted out at the accident site, details to be exchanged, then to the police station where I waited in the car to make sure no one stole from the broken boot. I only started to come back into my body when were we at the car repair shop.

I believe that everything, or nearly everything has meaning, a message. Being rear-ended in a car seems to be about either taking my power or be powerfully pushed from behind. It also seems to be about moving forward. That I am not moving forward enough in my life and so am getting the message it's time to move forward, take action, be powerfully who I am and go for what I want.

I also find it very curious the conversation that had happened in the car. Our friend that was driving is going through a lot in her life: divorce, new relationship that isn't working, health problems. So nearly the entire car ride had been talking about what she is going through and the energy was quite frenetic and ungrounded.

Just before we were rear-ended I was talking about Jared and I's spiritual teacher in Oregon, USA. At the moment of the crash, I was saying how his weekly groups are quite confrontational and people accept that when being a part of it. Humm....another message perhaps?

I have found the accident to be more emotionally jarring than physical, though my neck was quite sore. Our friend's back and neck, which causes her discomfort already, went into spasms and she had to go to the doctor and get an injection for it.

But, we are very lucky, no one was seriously hurt, both drivers have insurance, the guy who hit us was very helpful and concerned. If we had been listening more intently, we would have heard the universe giving us these messages without being in a car accident, but I'm glad I was listening enough that it wasn't worse.

Zimbabwe Refugee

A few weeks ago I first met a Zimbabwe refugee living on the streets of Cape Town. He seemed a gentle guy who was so shut down emotionally his eyes were nearly blank. He had arrived in Cape Town a month earlier from Johannesburg and has been living on the streets mostly near Sea Point. One night he was beat up and all his stuff was stolen including his Zimbabwe ID. He felt pretty hopeless about his future.

Growing up in Zimbabwe his parents were gold panners, his Dad died when he was 8, his mom left two years later and so he stayed in an orphanage in the village. He went to school but there was abuse (physically and I think sexually) from his sponsors. When the economic crisis hit Zim he couldn't afford to keep going to school once they started charging fees in foreign currency. He worked odd jobs when he could get them and eventually met a South African who told him to go to South Africa where he could easily get a job and make a life for himself (this isn't true though, unemployment is quite high in South Africa). He tried to apply for a passport but it cost $600. That is A LOT of money, which he couldn't afford.

Meeting a trucker in Zimbabwe he smuggled himself across the border by hiding in the sleeping quarters of the truck and crossing the boarder at night. He didn't like Johannesburg so his friend paid his train ticket to Cape Town.

Like nearly everyone I've met who've been on the streets here, he has a lot of anger about his past, he dwells on questions like: why didn't his extended family help him finish school? Why did his dad die when he was so young? Why did his mother leave him? When his sponsor died, why didn't the sponsor's family help him?

He is willing to do any kind of work and has dreams of having his own place and a family. He is currently trying to get papers from the Department of Home Affairs so he can be in the country legally.

He has some hope for the future now and his eyes are beginning to have a glint in them; he'll even cracks some jokes. He isn't on the street anymore and has a support network through the various organizations that work with street people and refugees.

Wonderful weekend and African Hospitality

Jared and I just had the most lovely weekend away. A hiking group we joined went to the Kogelberg Nature Reserve in the southern cape, which is a world heritage site. We stayed in these cabins, simple but quite comfortable surrounded by immense beauty. Mountains, a river, a valley, small patches of forest tucked into kloofs (steep ravines)....it was gorgeous.

The hiking group is geared toward people interested in spirituality and intuition so the people who come are interested in things like yoga, healing modalities, etc.

I had such a lovely time I didn't want to come back.

In our cabin of 6 we were staying with a group of 4 friends who have known each other for years. One was an American who has been in South Africa for 30 years but somehow still maintained her American accent, then there was an Afrikaans woman and a couple who are both hairdressers who I think were both English-speaking as their first language. They were pretty funny.

I have met Afrikaans people who were very hospitable to me, but who were also very racist. This woman was so great, she was one of those progressive Afrikaaners who I haven't met very many of. She teaches yoga and is very passionate about it and is also quite good at it. She gave Jared and I a ride home and we stopped at this lovely hidden beach to watch the sun set with some others from the trip. Since it was getting late, she took us home with her to this lovely house built by an architect who loved Tuscan style houses.

We took her yoga class in the morning and played with her 1 year old grandson. Its a bit of a story of this little boy. His mother was 21 and had broken up with her boyfriend but they were still seeing each other and she became pregnant. The ex was riding his motorcycle to see her and got in an accident and became paralyzed and was in a coma for several months. She didn't know she was pregnant for months and being traumatized tried to comfort herself with alcohol. The father was 22 and hasn't coped well with being paralyzed and has become quite nasty. The little boy doesn't like to be with his father very much, but they are trying to work it out. Both the mother and her little son stay with the woman who gave us a ride and she is looking after them. The boy's mother is still in school training to be a teacher.

After the little kid got used to us, he liked us. Despite what he has experienced emotionally, he is a sweet, intelligent kid.

It was such a great weekend in a wonderfully beautiful place and with wonderful people.